Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
