I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Randomize
