Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
