What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm too high and old for this...
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