Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
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