I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
