Already got asked if we're dating
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
