just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
