what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize