so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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