she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
