He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
