I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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