Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
