I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I just gargled with NyQuil
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
