i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize