So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
