I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
