She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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