Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
