Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
