He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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