What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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