id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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