Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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