i already hear my dad disowning me
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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