please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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