it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
