I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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