I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
