No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
