shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Who died my cat blue again?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
