we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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