I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
