Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
