I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
high people should be assigned attendants
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
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