Grow some girl-balls and come out already
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize