Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize