If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
