Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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