U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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