HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
you win again, gameday.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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