apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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