If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
