They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
