i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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