3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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