You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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