This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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