OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
This is my gift to your gina
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize