I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
