Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
