You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
