Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
