I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
