chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
organizing the empties. That sober.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
