What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
