the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
