naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
